This has been a mild winter and with unusually sunny days for February. Up until today, I was fairly cheerful, but today's gray skies and cold weather hit me with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a depression that mostly affects people who live in places with long winter nights.
Yesterday, I was walking in warm sun with Gary and talking about our summer plans.
Today, I held it together most of the day, finishing some writing work, but by then we had snow showers and the day turned cold. When light boards, St. John's wort and vitamin D aren't working, I turn to exercise. I went over to the aquatic center to swim for a while but the pool was closed.
I walked downtown in a snow flurry to get some groceries but on the way home, the tears started and by the time I was here in my office, I was sobbing. When I calmed down, I went upstairs to Gary's office to say, "It's here." Then I went to bed for a long nap.
When I came downstairs, Gary had cleaned and lit candles in every room. It is lovely to know his concern, even when I explain to him that none of this is his fault, none of this makes any sense, and that nothing he does can stop the pain.
Oh well, sunny days will come again and then it will be all over. Until then, I am lying low. I'll skip tomorrow's technical school class. I'll go to church on Sunday morning but once the choir has sung, I'm going to come home to watch television and sleep.
Yesterday, I was walking in warm sun with Gary and talking about our summer plans.
Today, I held it together most of the day, finishing some writing work, but by then we had snow showers and the day turned cold. When light boards, St. John's wort and vitamin D aren't working, I turn to exercise. I went over to the aquatic center to swim for a while but the pool was closed.
I walked downtown in a snow flurry to get some groceries but on the way home, the tears started and by the time I was here in my office, I was sobbing. When I calmed down, I went upstairs to Gary's office to say, "It's here." Then I went to bed for a long nap.
When I came downstairs, Gary had cleaned and lit candles in every room. It is lovely to know his concern, even when I explain to him that none of this is his fault, none of this makes any sense, and that nothing he does can stop the pain.
Oh well, sunny days will come again and then it will be all over. Until then, I am lying low. I'll skip tomorrow's technical school class. I'll go to church on Sunday morning but once the choir has sung, I'm going to come home to watch television and sleep.
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