Final Great Adventure...

At the age of 70, Colleen Erna Sutherland of Seymour, WI passed away on Saturday, October 4, 2014 after a nine month battle with cancer.  Colleen was born on March 17, 1944 to the late Robert and Viola (Reetz) Doersch, the third of six children.  One of her fondest childhood memories from life on the farm was when maple syrup season came and everything smelled of the sweet boiling sap.
 

After graduating from Seymour High School she began her professional career working for companies such as M&M Mars and Chicago Title and Trust where she handled the escrow for the Sears Tower.  It was in Chicago where she met and married Roger Sutherland.  During their travels they lived briefly in South Dakota where she earned her Bachelor’s degree in teaching at Vermillion University, later moving to Illinois where they had a Son (Christopher).  After a few years they returned to Wisconsin where she taught high school English, French, and History at Pulaski High School and then finally settled back in Seymour.  After their divorce, Colleen raised Chris while working as a singer/storyteller, performing at the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C. and internationally as far away as New Zealand. 

Colleen was a published author and contributor to the arts having acted and directed community plays as well as directing choir, singing, and playing piano in church and worked with developmentally disabled children at Syble Hopp School.  Later in life she was elected to the Seymour city council and drove such community projects as establishing a farmer’s market and a tree lined walking trail between neighboring communities.  Always an environmentalist, Colleen was a regular at the crane counts and sturgeon guard.  She attended peaceful protests supporting teachers and the environment.  An avid gardener, she was always happy to cut flowers from her front yard for children passing by on their way to school.  In her retirement years, she took great joy in spending time with her Grandson Evan and camping with Gary, her partner of 30 years.

She was known to say that if something didn’t go wrong while traveling that there would be nothing to write about.  All mishaps while traveling the world were great writing material.  She had many amazing stories to share with everyone she met.

She is survived by her son, Christopher (Tisha) Sutherland, grandson Evan Sutherland, her partner for over thirty years Gary Harms, sisters Karen (Raymond) Nellis, Jeanne Doersch, Joan Downs, and brother Carl (Sue) Doersch.  She is also survived by many nieces, nephews, other relatives, and friends.

She was preceded in death by her parents, sister Diane Doersch, great-nephew Tony Loniello, and brother-in-law Dee Downs.

To honor her wishes no services or memorial will be held.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to support organizations such as Wisconsin Public Television, Fox Valley Brain Tumor Coalition, the Nature Conservancy, or The Sierra Club.

The Sutherland family would like to thank the doctors and nursing staff that provided such excellent care during her final months and Colleen’s friends and family who were a part of her extraordinary life.

Still here...

A quiet day at Peabody Manor this Easter.  No Easter Services, no ten pounds of potatoes to peel for a big Easter dinner.  Spring is here.  Birds are singing.

Brain Tumor Update...

I am back but briefly.  Today I played the piano.  Not totally brain fried. 

Paacking for the operation

Today Chris, Tisha and  Evan took me out for my last meal before hospital food.  We went to a Chinese buffet, my favorite. There was even ice cream. We discussed Evan's new found interest in math and science. He is now doing sudoku puzzles.  As usual, he coninues to love reading.  I am so proud o my family.  They are all doing well.

Th fortune cookies boded well.


While we were gone, Gary did the laundry so I would have  the clothes I need for the hopital.

Beause I don' t like he flapping hospital gowns that leave too little o the imagination in the nether region, so I am takiing some fleece pajama bottoms.   I have a pair of suede slippers with rubber bottoms.  Crocheted slipper are nice ut slippery and I don't want to take a umble in the halls.  I know I willl be sent off to walk to get some exercise.  The ule is usually that the patient cannot leave the hospital until they have "expressed gas" (farted) and I intend to get that accomplished as soon as I can.

A couple of book s to read andng sudoku and crssword puzzles to work on.   I  am still trying to engage my brain.


I am hoping to continue to post on this blog but will have to borrrow a computer for that.  I'm not taking my notebook.   No money, no credit cards.  Gary, Chris and Tisha will be dropping in from time to time, but since mostly I will be asleep, there will be no time.

Tonight, Downton Abbey and early to bed.

Tomorrow I hope this pesky tumor is gone and I can get back to writing.

Birdsk

Every day, Gary "airs" m out by taking me or a ride in the sunniest part of the afternoon.

This day we went over to Green Bay and the Pullein Plant which provides electricity for the city partly by generating power from the fast flowing Fox River whch reaches Green Bay here, but also from burning coal.  Hot water from from the plant flow off leaving open water for birds.  That makes it a winter birding spot.  


hHigh up the employees have placed boxes that lure in peregrin falcons though it is oo early for hem to be here now.  Yet it is one o ou earliest birding spots a we watch with binoculars as the young are fed bits of fish.  But not today.  If eggs hve been laid, they have not hatched.

There were birds.  In the bit of open ater, there were Canada geese, scaup and mallards.

What there were eagles, too, at least 17 of them  perched in the trees.   How were they making a living?   We assume by fishing, byubut they have friends.   On the ice was a carcass.  We assume that some of the employees are hunters who bring remains of deer.  The eagles were feasting on one.


From the Pullein Plant, we drove over the Frigo Bridge which was in danger of collapsing last year. The repairs were finished a f couple of months.  It's in fine shape now.


It was when we stopped to shop for some men's pajama bottom i ran into trouble.

On Monday, I will be issued one of those hospital gowns, the kind that leaves one's nether regions flapping. I wanted a pair of pajama bottoms o cover the rear. The problem was that I left my wallet at the counter.  Gary paid for my purchase.


Having a tumor is trouble enough.  It ha eroded my confidence.  Everything becomes incredibly difficult.

Gary has been good about taking charge of my treatment but along iwth that has come a sort of paternalism that is difficul for me to deal ith.  Today he went on and on about my purse and howI should have a different one.

I hate being told hat to do.   He sees it one way, mea nother.  But if this operation works,I am going to need some time off  to restore  who I am.

Birds,T umor, and Writing

We continue to work toward the operation on Monday.  Today the scheduling nurse called o tell me what I need to do efore I arrive.   First is to watch hat I ingest. I seem o e low on sodium.  I am to drink less water. Clohes are important.  I found agood pair of slipppers with rubber soles but Gary has to clean them up. My roe needs o go hrough he laundry.  I need some things o do, bu the umor has affected my eyesite so that requires a little thought. Everything goes into the little case I meant to take toKauai next month.  Oh well, things change.


To take my mind off things, Gary took me for a sunny drive to the Oconto Breakwater.  We've found winter birds there before.  Not so many today.  Usually, part of Lake Michigan has open water where ducks hang ou, but not today.  The lake is frozen solid.  I had hopes of at least seeing a northern shrik, but no.

Fact is, if there where ice fishermen in their shanties, they would be cleaning the fish they caught hrough the holes drilled hrough the ice.  They would hrow the innards out and he gulls would be waiting.  Not today.  It is even too cold for the ice fishermen.

But it was a sunny day.

Wisconsin is a green state but we wait or spring.  But Wiscosin's green includes the many conifers so it was still a lovely trip.  


I've been writing about authors ho kept at it in spite of health problems.  Today, I think of our most prolific American author, Stephen King.  Despite  his macular degeneration blindness, he coninues to write one book after another.  

So fter Monday, I hope to keep working on about  dozen books.

It's finally happening

After I had  mypre-operation physical today, the decision was made.   That tumor comes out  on Monday.  So now a few last minute decisions.  If nothing else, I have to pack a bag for the hospital stay.

By the way, other than that pesky tumor, I am very healthy.


It is likely his operation will extend my life by a few years, but what to do with them?

I have been thinking lately of authors who had health problems yet went on to write.

Tonight I think about Ulyssess S. Grant, Civil War general and President  of the United States.

At the end of his life, he suffered fom cancer of the throat, probably caused  by the cigars he smoked most of his life.  he knw he was ill and worrried bout his family who would be left penniless.  It was Mark Twain who came to his rescue  with a publishing venture.  Grant would write his memoirs and  Twain would publish them.
Grant sat down with paper, pen and ink and began to write.  Month after month and even year after year, the old man wrote down his expeiences in the Civil  War.  He wound up with  a best selling book   that took care of his family.   But more important, his book is still onsidered one of the best military histories ever written.

So I figure on going on with my own writing.  it is not the money for me, it is telling the stories.   I have no idea how many months or years are in my future but they will be used writing.

Once we get past next Monday.

Countdown

This afternoon, Gary presented me with a sheet of paper with all my coming appointments.  It looks like this:

Tomorrowmorning I have my pre-operation physical with my primary MD.  I've had a lot of this kind of appointment this winter and find that winter has this advantage.  I am ready for them without  lot of worrying bout clothing.    I don't wear a bra because I can't have anything metal in the machines.  Yes there will be a CT scan tomorrow.   For the top all I need is a a turtleneck sweater, warm enough for the cool offices but with sleeves thin enough so the nurses can test my blood pressure.   Pants are fleece so they slip on and off easily.

So that is tomorrow.

The big show happens a week from today
where I will put ino into a sleep state.  At 2:15 pm the doctor starts the operation which will take around three hours.  Then it;s back to sleep.   I am sleeping this winter away and that is just fine with me.

Then a week later I'll have my first post Op and we decide what to do then during the recovery period.

And five days later it will be March.  The migrations will have started.  The tundra swans and sandhill cranes will be flying in.

I guess a brain tumor is one way to pass a Wisconsin winter. 

The Consultation The

Today was the day I've been waiting for, the day when decisions finally would be made after weeks of testing. Chris metGary and me t Neuro Spina to dicuss what we knew with Dr. Washer.


The tumor was growing, not shrinking.  We decided to follow his advice, surgery, which will happen next weekweek, perhaps as early as Wednesday.  Dr. Washer showed us the results he has had.  These days, a doctor doctor must have figures to show what we can expect.  
The fact is, I will be living with that darn tumor from now on, but I can add months to my life.  We looked at the stark figures and at the images of the tumor and its surroundings.   I will have the operation, but it is obviousthat for the rest of my life I will have trouble on my left side and it won't be a long life.  But then my family has never been long lived, not like Gary's who seem to go on and on and on.

I've always lived a if each day were my last and that has added to th quality of my life.  So nothing new here.

I


So by next week Wednesday, I go in for the cut.
Chris and I had some time o chat. I told him that I was slowly clearing up things.  Perry, our lawyer, had suggested I make out funeral instructions and write an obituary.  I've done both before but they need updating. I told Chris I don't want a memorial service or funeral, but suggested we do a digital memorial/obituary.  I hav 41 scrapbooks full of photos.  We could put my life on a DVD with photos, dates, and perhaps some of my favorite music.   Anyone that wanted one could either download it from his server or we we could send them out.  Perhaps Tisha could help me with this, she is tech and camera savvy.  We'll see how that goes.  If nothing else, they can finally throw out those dusty old scrapbooks some day.

I came home and went down for a long, long nap.  When I woke up there were two words rolling around in my head: "Joy" and "Possibilities".   I decided to live each day left to me with joy which would happen anyhow because soon the spring migrations will begin, one of the happiest times of the year.   Any time I am in nature, there is joy.  My family and friends are there, too.  Today, Pat Stone had soup delivered from Sissy's and bless and Sandy decided to add scones, cookies and other treats. Gary brought me a Blizzard from Dairy Queen I told him if this keeps up, we can call off any pall bearers if the time comes.

And Susan delivered two rocheted hats to cover my shaven head after the operation.

So now I go to take a nap with visions of posibilities swirling around in my head.  There still  will be a canoe trip down the Wolf River.  Gary does all the paddling anyhow, so I will have nothing to do but sit there and watch the water go by.  Come on spring!   There are still trips to plan, short ones, but to some lovely places.


Possibility after possibility.

During the AIDS crisis gays said, "These are not days of dying, these are the last days of living.   I thought that brilliant.  

So I go on living with all I've got.  I have a long way to go.

Moving On

The brain tumor does slow me down. Some days I do little but sleep.

But today I accomplished so much I want to celebrate.

Th first thing is to is to list it all.

I got all my 2013 reeipts together and got them mailed to my accountant in Florida.  I've known Tom since he lived in Green Bay and kept with him even after the move. He understands my odd life as a storyteller, journalist and author.  Accountants and tax preparers in Seymour do not have a clue, merely asking for forms that self-employed people don't have. So once a year, I must explain a year to Tom, who says he tells his wife all about me, how I live on next to nothing yet manage to travel the world.

I stopped at the bank for a 2013 statement of what went on.  Then it was to the Lutheran church because I needed to get an evaluation on my burial plot in the Lutheran cemetery.   Then another sotp home for my 2012 tax form.  All of this was necesssary to apply for  Medicare to help pay for my sugary costs.  We took every thing to my attorney who went through the required documents and made sure everything was in order.  Then the whole thing was mailed to the county offices.   If all goes well, I should make i through financially.

This is important because tomorrow, Chris, Gary and and I consult with the doctors, look at test results, and figure out the next step.  We hope by the end of the week, that nasty little tumor is gone.

There was another saving.  I was going to get a haircut this week but there is no point since my head will probably be shaved.   Friend Susan is crocheting a hat for me until the hair grows out again.

Gary took me off on what he calls an "airing".  I love these outings.  This one took us to Bonduel.  About the only birds out these days are turkeys, who huddle together for warmth and crows whose black feathers collect the heat of the sun.

But what we were there for was to look at modular homes, built by Amish in Indiana.  Once the house was here, the Bonduel Amish work on the cabinetry.  The work is good.  We are interested because Gary has his eye on a piece of property near Ashland and would like to put a house on it.  So we explored homes and dreamed of summers at a lake.

I came home to a long nap and during it, came up with an idea for a new short story.

And then I looked at everything I had blogged or journaled about the tumor for the past two months and realized I had almost enough words for a book.  I'll be editing that for the next month, surgery permitting.

So I move ahead, day by day.





t

Ground Hog Day

Finally, the dreadful Jnuary is over and now it is Groundhog Day, as if that big rodent ever knew anything about spring. 

I was feeling out of sorts, so Gary took me off to look for snowy owls over by Freedom, Wisconsin.  We ouln't see many but I know hey are here from p;revious drive bys.
Meanwhi

Meanwhile, anoher sign of spring.   In he front window, my f\forced dafodil bulbs are  ulbs ae comin o life.One  leaf isi urning yellow  which means in about two we I'll have one daffodil for  my ptetiest budg vase.

We hsome cix uxxxion  about planting my tomato seeds but I slept the day away instead.   Maybe tomorrow.tomorrow.








M

February!!!!

One of the worst Wisconsin Januaries ever  is over.  February and March will have bad weather, but the temperatures are climbing.  My spirits are climbing, too.   I am getting my gardening gear together to start planting seeds.  Tomorrow, cherry tomatoes. It's not too early.   Last year I was able to have pots outside on my deck by the end of March.  

I am starting to make plans to meet friends outside this house to combat cabin fever.   There is a certain danger though since the flu is out there running rampant and I don't want to endanger the process of getting this brain tumor dealt with.


Still, I am feeling better.  Today I began work on a new short story.  I am also doing some editing work on existing books.  It is slow going, but I have to keep moving forward.

My attorney suggested I should have my obituary written before the surgery.

Any suggestions welcome!

What One Can Do

""Even if the doctor does not give you a year, even if he hesitates about a month, make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week."  --  Robert Louis Stevenson


I've loved that quote for most of my life, written by a man who alwayswas in anger of dying, yet pushed on to write Kidnapped and Treasure Island, plus A Child's Garden of Verses.

I am not near death, but this tumor keeps me from writing as I wish, so I am pushing myself to accomplish at least one thing a  week.


This week, I managed to get all the figures together for my tax returns.   It was important because I almost certainly will get a sizable tax refund which we will need to get that surgery done in March.

I made a list of all the paperwork I needed and began a week long search.  I needed figures on storytelling, writing, plus all the deductions I could find. This morning, I had everything and now the package of figures is ready to be mailed to my accountant in the morning.


It isn't writing .... yet.... but I am proving to myself that I can do things in increments.  Starting next week, I start my next book on coping with a brain tumor.  One idea at a time, one sentence at a time.  That book will be written.

Getting On

Gary just brought me my cup of hot chocolate so soon I must be off to bed.

Readers tell me that they can't go to bed until I've posted so I'd best get at it.

Temperatures are finally rising in Wisconsin, but that means other forms of bad weather.  Today, a snowstorm and slippery streets.  So we stayed home.

The tumor is still with me.  A slight indigestion problem is over.  But now we suffer from cabin fever along with every one  else around here.

I've never had trouble sleeping, but now it is a joy, a way to escape this endless winter.

I look outside, see the snow and throw myself on my bed.  Five minutes later I am asleep for at least an hour, a good solid sleep with no pain.

Once we go  to get the evaluation of the tests next week, we will make new plans. There will be surgery, but then we get in the car and start heading south for at least a couple of weeks to get a start on summer.

And when summer comes, my life starts new.

Meanwhile, sleep is my solace and my joy.

So, so bored at the Moment

I am a reader so I am seldom bored.

However, this tumor is making it difficult for me to crack a book.  Tomorrow, I will go to the library for some books on CDs and go rom there.  

There is nothing on television worth watching.   Cooking is not interesting me.

Gary is doing the best by getting me out of this house.  Today that was just a trip to get medical supplies and another for groceries.   I've always enjoyed gocery shopping, which is a numbers game, trying o get good buys with limited funds. So it went today.  I saved 32 % today and came away with bags and bags of foodstuffs.  

But then i went directly to bed and slept for more hours.  Sleeping is what I do best these days.

Tomorrow, I once again must dig into the bureaucracy and find out why Medicaid still wants to give me child care!  I suppose the fight will hold my interest.  The other task will be to finish locating all the information to take finish my taxes.

But I admit that right now I am looking forward with the most enthusiasm to having doctors drill into my head to dig that darn tumor out of there.

Friends have invited us to travel south for a few days for some beach time.  That may happen in another week or two.  Sounds good to me.

Cabelas

Usually, Gary spends his winters planning for our camping season.  We expect UPS and Fed Ex to mak deliveries daily of the latest gadgets.  But not this winter.   We have been preoccupied with my health and the Arctic Vortex kept us inside.

Today there was cold, yes, but sun and no blowing or drifting snow to stop us.  We took a drive to the new Cabelas store in DePere.  

I can't get very impressed with big name outfitter places but I could walk around and around and get some much needed exercise.

I stopped to talk to a fellow who was showing Cabelas camping loungers.  I told him I liked the one we had, but we never got it in a store.   Gary rescued it from a national forest dumpster.  People buy these expensive chairs and sit on them for hours next to their campfires eating and drinking beer.  The pounds accumulate and the chairs collapse and wind up in the dumpsters.  Usually it takes only minor repairs to get them working again. Gary stopped at a hardware store, found the proper screws for pennies and we had a Cabelas lounger.

Cabelas sells guns with the support of the National Rifle Association. Again, I talked to one of the workers.  You could buy one,she told me.  "I don't know about that," I said. "I write bloody mysteries and I currently have a brain tumor that is making me cranky."

"As long as you don't have a criminal record," you can buy one," she told me.

"So if I am a good murderer who has never been caught," I said, "I'm good to go."

Of course I never did buy a gun but I got the clerk interested in my mystery and by now she is reading it.

But I shake my head at how easy it is to buy guns in the United States.

So  I got out of the house and got some exercise. Gary found a pair of binoculars and  got to talking to a lot of people about camping.

I guess that makes for a good day. 

The Difference of a Day

Throughout this brain tumor saga,I've worried about how we were going to pay for the treatment. I certainly didn't want to wreck the financial future of my family.

Earlier in the week, I was trying to talk to someone about Medicaid but was told someone would call me to talk about aid for children living with me and food stamps.   Since Chris is 39 and not living at home, that was foolish.  Anyone reading this blog realizes food stamps would be a waste of time.  My monthly food budget is $75 a month.  I am very, very good at finding food bargains and turning them into nutritious meals. No, what I really needed was help with getting through this surgery.

What we forget is that in the middle of government bureaucracy there are good people who really want to help.  This afternoon I connected with Sheena in Madison.  She followed my problems with a deep and sincere sympathy and told me what I could do and told me the documentation I would need.  When I explained my constant state of befuddlement (I DO have a tumor after all!), Sheena arranged for me to be sent all the requirements by mail.  The packet will be here in three or four days.  Gary and I can go through it all then.

Then Gary talked to one of my doctors who has created a brain tumor support group.  He said that through the group, they would help me through it all.   So because there are good people in the world, including a sweet woman who proved that people working for the state  want to do their best for the people they work for.

So I went into the afternoon greatly relieved.

I took time to check the on line weather and realized that come the first of February, the temperatures here will begin to rise.   By the 4th, when we have to see our doctors to find out what all the testing revealed, the daytime temperatures will be in the double digits and the wind dying down. Not spring by a long shot, but it appears the Arctic Vortex will soon begin to lift. Along with it, it will take my Seasonal Affective Disorder, I hope.

Next, Gary did an Internet search and found a piece of property near Ashland that looks interesting. It's at the edge of a park with several lakes.  With a small pre-fabricated home, we would have a summer vacation spot. The electricity and septic system are already in place.  There's a nearby beach and miles of forest.  We could live there from May through October then com back to this area for the holidays.  Sounds perfect.   We will be going up there toward the end of February or the beginning of March to check it out.

Today, we paid the real estate taxes on this property.  For all our governor's talk about saving taxpayers money, I found he had saved me all of 9 cents for the year.  I would rather forgo those savings and  have him use pennies like that in saving lives ofWisconsinites that need help.

At the end of the day, I am in a much better mood.  Spring is coming, the forests are waiting for me to get over this tumor nonsense.

The Social Media and snow

It has been a terrible winter here in northeastern Wisconsin.  Almost every morning, we wake up to minus digits.  The world is covered in white. It goes on and on.  I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder horribly and many of my friends are close to the same madness.  And yet  it could be a lot worse.

A few years ago, I was doing a summer tour to the West Coast.  I stopped at a little diner in a town in North Dakota and talked to the owner.   The winter before, North Dakota had been hit with seven big blizzards in a row.   The owner told me that the town finally had Internet access.  During that terrible winter, she got on Facebook and was able to connect with far away friends.  "It saved my sanity," she said.

So in this winter, we stay glued to our keyboards and the social network.  I write daily on Facebook and Twitter and this blog, and think of the generations before who lived through Wisconsin winters like these.

First I think of Wisconsin Death Trip a collection of photos and newspaper clippings from the 1180's to 1910 from the Black River Falls area.  There was the horror of a Wisconsin winter.  These were the days before radio, telephones or TV.   Farm women were stuck in farmhouses for months with little or no outside communication.  On rare occasions, the farmer might hook up the cutter and go into town to the post office for mail and a newspaper.

Women went insane and killed themselves.

In time, rural mail service was instituted.

Next, telephone wires made it to rural area.  My father, a boy before the Great Depression, once told me that the party line saved my grandmother's sanity.  The phone rang and along the line, ten phones were picked up.  She could listen in and get all the news.   It was the first social media. She finished raising her children on the same farm I grew up on.  Then she moved into Seymour and created a social world with friends calling even in the middle of winter.

So, yes, there are farm women all around Seymour and they are all on Facebook.  They are calling their children or Skyping  with them.

So, yes the days are bleak here, but we are connecting with the outside world.  I don't see any of them going to the looney bin this year.

So no matter what people think of Facebook and the rest, they must admit there is a place for them.

SAD and the tumor

People must be interested in my travails because there are so many hits on this blog.  I will soon have reached 50,000 hits.

Anyone who reads this blog knows I suffer every winter from Seasonal Affective Disorder which is why I usually plan a southern storytelling tour for January and February.  This year it should have been Hawaii in February but I had to cancel that when the brain tumor decreed I would not be able to drive once I got to Kauai.  Another year, perhaps.

So this week I find myself with the double whammy of tumor and SAD.  Except I am finding them much the same.  In both cases, I sleep for hours.  The only remedy seems to be sunshine and lots of it.

Today, Gary took me out for an airing.  We went to the big Fox River Mall so he could find replacement filters for our humidifiers.

I got to walking around and found myself at Payless shoes.  I bought two new pairs of sports shoes.  My old ones were wearing out in the heel areas, leaving me with very sore feet.   Now I can walk again.  I plan on going to more malls in this horrendous cold to get the exercise I need. That shouldn't cause the tumor any great problems.

Afterward, we drove around country areas.  The sun shone on the snow giving me the light I needed.

Tonight I am feeling better.   I am still sleeping a  great deal, but I am getting a few things done.  I should have my taxes done by tomorrow night.   Plus I am now back to cooking nutritional meals.  No more take outs for us. It was spaghetti and meatballs tonight.

On the 4th of February we meet with my brain doctor to review all the tests to see how we proceed on the surgery.

Today, Gary showed up in my office with an electric drill, suggesting he go in and take the tumor out. He was kidding, but it sounded good to me.  However, when I mentioned this on Facebook, our friends Brad and Merrilee suggested he had the wrong bit.  Humor continues to be part of our life.

In another month, the flowers will be blooming on the south side of my house.  One way or another, I will begin to feel better.

NIH

Chris came to get me early for a drive to Froedert Hospital in Milwaukee where I would take what should be the final test before we decide how to proceed on the brain tumor.  

The drive south and the day at the hospital was an opportunity for me to connect with my son and find out how things were going with his job.   As it turned out, the AMR test was delayed and we couldn't get in earlier even though more snow was about to hit Milwaukee.  I'd assumed everyone would want to leave early but that was not to be. 

I spent hours with the technicians and enjoyed it.  Ever curious, I had so many questions about the testing, especially when I found out that the National Institute of Health is involved.  The technicians were doing experiments which should help in diagnosing and treating brain tumors.  I would be doing verbal and visual testing that hasn't been done before.  

The advantage for me is that I won't have to pay for some of the newer testing plus plus I am actually receiving an hourly stipend for it.  And of course, I like the idea of helping others, too.

I was in the machine for hours, asked questions that most of the time I only had to answer in my mind.  They wanted to see the actual information coursing through my brain cells, I guess. 

At the same time, Chris was working at work issues, using the wi fi in the hospital. 

For some time, I was gazing up at photos at what could only be scenes from the Pacific Crest Trail while I listened to classical music.  My choice was Beethoven and it seemed the selections were mostly from the Ken Burns documentary on Frank Lloyd Wright.  This was so soothing, I am now wondering if Burns ever released a sound track.   At the same time, the machine was vibrating and massaging my back.  I came away with a full appreciation of science!

So somewhere in Washington, DC the NIH will have the photos of the brain of one Colleen Sutherland.

I wish I could see it.

Depression

Gary and I are slowly woking out my problem with Seasonal Depression.  He took me for a ride this morning in the sunshine.  We found lots of snow bu the sun reflected off it, giving me the brightness I required. We looked all over for birds.  There were crows of course. At th Shawano dam, we found hundreds of Canada geese and mallards.   And on the way home we found dozens of ring necked pheasants.  No it isn't spring, but birds go a long way to help  me to spring.

Earlier Lori had a spring bouquet delivered.

Gary went of tonight to tend to Spooky, his sister's camp.  He'll go to a meeting and stop for hardware at Menards.  he will be re-doing things here at the house while I am having tests done for the tumor in Milwaukee tomorrow.

And so we're getting what we crave....time apart.  By Saturday, we'll be good friends again.   It wasn't a southern tour or a trip to Hawaii, but we take what we get.

Frustrations

Usually at this time of year, I go off on tour, leaving Gary behind.  It has always been a good thing.  We need time apart a few times a year.

However, this time, I am held back by a brain tumor.  With almost no peripheral vision, I am barred from driving a car.  Gary has felt he needs to take care of me. But now I have doubts about that.  Should something go wrong, Chris is only half an hour a way, the ambulance ten.  There's  a land phone in absolutely every room plus I wander around with cell phone in hand.

I will be gone with Chris on Friday as he takes me to Milwaukee for more testing.  I hope that gives Gary some release.

Part of it is that with my brain not fully functional, Gary has taken to questioning my decisions.  I am perfectly capable of following legal matters, but Gary kept telling m to follow the attorney, even though the will he had drawn up was virtually identical to one I had drawn up years ago.  I only have one heir which makes it simple. I also had drawn up power of attorney for health issues years ago.  I know exactly when I want the feeding tubes removed and so on.

Then there was the question of a mortgage for money Gary lent me.  I worked as an escrow officer in Chicago and clearly know about promissory notes and mortgages.  There was nothing Gary could explain to me.  He was frustrated throughout our visit with the attorney yesterday.

Then today I insisted on going to the bank to deposit some money to cover the checks I wrote out yesterday for filing fees. It took longer than Gary would like.  And so it went, even to the grocery store where he wondered why I needed eggs and milk.  Well, I have cooking plans.

He has to get over the notion that having a tumor hasn't completely removed my brain.

But I know our real problem is way too much togetherness.  

Gary has been a prince about taking care of me, but now he needs a break.

In another week or so, all this will be over and we can move on with our usual lives.

Moing On Again

By Friday, I must be in Milwaukee or the final test before surgery.  There is so much to do before then, so Gary and I have been getting busy.

Today, we shopped for supplies.  We now have  standing calendar o help keep all of the appointments straight.

Then we went to see our attorney who had all the wills written, Gary's and mine.  I don't expect to die on the operating table, bu I've always thought we should have wills and this was the excuse.

Then Chris needed power of attorney on health issues.  I had to think about my instructions.  When should he pull the plug?  Organ donations?  Nursing home or not.  Decisions, decisions about what to do with my body.
Then there were financial forms.  Gary deserves money should this house be sold since he contributes so much.  More form.  It was an afternoon of thinking things through.

The attorney suggested I write my obit and funeral instructions, too.  More projects.


Then when we came home, mail that requires my attention.  I now have everything I need o get my taxes done so that is tomorrow's job.  There are some bills I have to pay though not many.  I've kept on top of things that way.

I've been assigned  a caseworker for Medicaid but there seems to be confusion about that since it refers o children and food stamps.  I'll have to get that straightened out.

Good thing here are no meetings or tests tomorrow.  It looks like I will have to spend the day on paperwork.

I want my desk clear by Friday.  I have two days

Moving Forward - Money

As Gary and I move forward on this tumor thing, we realize we could go broke, so today we worked on getting it all together.  Face it, my friends couldn't have enough bake sales to raise the money.

This morning we went to see about heat assistance.  I didn't think we would need it and so far have managed the energy bills, but the Arctic Vortex came down and it was one bill too many.  We had wonderful service from Energy Assistance.  We'll get through the winter just fine. An old storytelling friend, Chuck Larkin, used to work on that program when he worked for the federal government.  I though of his enthusiasm for the program while we waited.  In that spirit, I entertained a child waiting with his mother and was pleased I could remember all the words to 'My Brother Eats Bugs".  Perhaps my brain is working after all.

We've had a call from our brain doctor and will have to meet with him tomorrow.  On Friday, more testing in Milwaukee.

Before that, I need to have a phone conference about a supplement to Medicare  through the Affordable Care Act.  Our President may be saving my life.

Of course that makes me on of Romney's "takers" but I don't buy up companies and fire people.  I just sing songs and tell stories to children.

I think there is some value in that.

Lists and planning for the future

"You cannot run away from weakness; you must some time fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?"
Robert Louis Stevenson

Robert Louis Stevenson was dying most of his life, but he kept on writing anyhow, giving us Treasure Island and Kidnapped.  

So I keep on plugging away, too.

I think the tumor is shrinking, probably because of the steroids, I certainly think my typing is improving and I can now carry on conversations without slurring my words.  However,the tumor still will have to be removed eventually.  I have heard of outstanding results. 

So I take lots of naps, get some headaches, but I move on. 

One thing I started doing this morning was to start a journal in cursive to push at the peripheral edges of my work.  Eventually, I want to drive a car again.  We continue to go for testing to see what is happening. 

Mostly, I look at my constant lists of things I want to accomplish and work on them. Some are simply like clearing he bulletin board today.  

Others are lists that aim toward spring.  Today I planted more forced tulips and daffodils in pots.  There are already shoots coming up.  Then I asked Gary to set up shelves so I could start some tomato plants from seeds.  He thinks that is crazy, but it makes me happy so why not?  

I set up a bucket list of things I want o accomplish before I kick the bucket.  That includes at least four more books.   

I want to finish my imaginary trip around the world.  I am currently approaching Paris.  Some 5,000 miles more and I will be back in the USA.  Today, Gary took me shopping so I could walk around some big stores, eventually walking two miles.  

So I am often tired, but I fight where I stand.

Absoluely delightful, exhausting day

My brother Carl arrive at 10;00 a.m..  He was meeting a friend in Green Bay so had time to see his ailing sister.

Carl, like me, decided to run for a city council, this on in Ashland.  I haven't been on the Seymour city council in years but it seems that crazy people go o city council meetings all the time.  They listen to Fox News and decide they've learned something.  Then they spout it in meetings.

So we talked about where I stand. Gary described my treatment.  

Finally we heard from Chris, Tisha and Evan.  We decided to all meet at Gallaghers for pizza.   And so we did until we reached consensus on several issues.  I am transferring all my interest in a cemetery plot to my brother.  On Friday, Chris will take me o Milwaukee for another test, but first I must make him my health provider. I also must finish banking papers giving him access to my money.

Thn there was Evan, who at the age of 8 is writing about his ancestors.   We talked about where our family came from.  We are a mongrel breed.

When we were all home, they undecorated my Christmas tree, which is as good a way to celebrate spring as any.  Now that it is down,we will open up the dining room blinds bringing sunshine to that end of the house.

And then I collapsed into bed.

We had planned on going to the RV/camping show in Green Bay, but Gary worried about the germs  a crowd like that would carry.  It is bad enough o have a tumor.  Would a virus carry me off?  So I am now home again, exhausted, and likely to stay here for the next day or two.

Ducks in a Row

Today was a day o getting all my ducks in a row ... in other words, getting organized.

We began with the bank.  We arranged for Chris to have access to my checking account.  All my bills are paid but there will be times he might need cash ... a funeral comes to mind and now he has a way to get the ball rolling should he need to. Not that I am eager to get there, but I want to make it as easy as possible if it comes to that.

Next we went to see Perry Pierre, attorney.  Perry was my mother's neighbor and I worked with him on many community issues.  He is completely trustworthy, shares our views on environmental issues.  Except for one.  Perry has undertaken ridding Rock Ledge Park of gophers by shooting them with  bow and arrows.  Better than poisons, I expect.  When Gary got o his will, h suggested establishing a preserve for gophers. Perry saw the humor in that.

In the end, both Gary and I made the usual bequests, but if there are no heirs when it comes to the end,our money would go to the Nature Conservency which buys wild lands to save them from development. He also wanted a bequest to the Genesee Club in Applton with thanks for his many years of sobriety.  

In some ways, we can avoid wills enirely by PODs or payment on death.  Gary has some certificates at the bank. My nam is on them with PODs.  Should he die, I would get that money.  Now I have the same set up for Chris and my account.  Th same thing will happen with his house though Gary will have a small mortgage because he has helped so much with the bills.

OK, that was taken care of, to my relief.   Then I go to Froedert Hospital in Milwaukee on next Friday.  I have an appointment there for one more test.  Then we decide if I have the surgery.

Meanwhile Tisha, Chis and Evan will be here this weekend to take down the Chrismas tree.  My brother Carl will be here for a visit.

Then we'll go to the RV/camping show in Geen Bay.  Yes there will be lots of walking but every camper has a bed and lounging chairs.  If I am tired, I can rest. We'll meet our friends he Stellicks there.

So I keep making plans.  I have a ways to go yet.  

More Changes

One more test this morning.  I hate the constant testing and I yearn for it all to be over.   And it seems it will.In a week or so, I go to Madison for one last test then  a hole will be drilled in my head and the tumor will be excised.

But before that starts, I need to get things in order in case the operation goes wong.  Tomorrow, Gary and I go to see my lawyer to get new wills drawn.  I will stop at the bank and get the form signed o give my son power of attorney for money matters.

Then I will be ready to go ahead with having my head drilled.

Then over he weekend, friends and relatives will come over to check on me.

At he moment, all Iwant to do is sleep.

It does seem that he trip to Hawaii is out for now.

Birding and Tumor report.

Today, I found out that the tumor caused a problem with my peripheral vision meaning i can no longer driv a car.  More tests today o see if the steroids are shrinking the tumor.  I expect I will win up  in Madison.

My mind is functioning better but not my fingers which is the worst problem. a the moment.

But today, after a CT Scan  St. Elizabeth' hospital, Grary drove us over to nearby Jefferson Park to watch the Scaup diving into icy water for fish.  A birding trip always lifts my spirits.  We thought there might be swans there, too, but were too far  away for  a good look.

No matter what goes on in our lives, good o bad, nature goes chugging along.

Memories

Last night I woke up several times thinking about perfect moments in my life. Observation: almost all took place in nature and most of the time, Gary was there. Example: At Lost Lake, Gary woke me up in he middle of the night and led m to the front of he camper. We sat on chairs and waited. Three whitetail deer came out of the mist like ghosts to ommmune with us. They were as curious about us as we were aout them. Magic evening.

At Laura Lake we discoved a rcoon and her cusb in a dumpser.  He ound  a  pine branch and put it in.  Theracccoons managedmanged t oclimb out. 


We canoed down the Wolf River folloing juvenile bal eagles trying out their flying skills.

I remember parking my old Datsun pckupup truck in a church camp meadow and sleeping :) with Gary in the back while watching a lunar elipse.

I also remember a group of women friends holding an "intervention"to convince me to break up  w ith Gary before he reachedecovery.  I am so glad I ddidn't listen to them.

Tonght I found a collection of w orld poeotry which included " Black Maigold's"which I first read in John Steinbeck's Cannery Row.
Th Sanskrit poem tells the story of a peasant who dared to love a prhincess and is being put o death. This is  the last verse.

"Even now
I know tht I hare savored the hot taste of life
LIfting geen cups and gold at  the great feast.
I have full in my eyes from  off my girl
The whitest outpouring eternal light


After a lifetime of adventures and a great love, I feel that I too have l ifted green cups and gold.

No regrets.

Muddled

After many days of confused typin on this log , readers begaan to ack what was wrong.  Today Gay took meo see his  dotcor W e had begun o think o combiningoumedicl care for some time. T oay was hedray.   Theoctor,after hesringGay talk bout me blurring my speech ordered  x CAT scan.

It  showed that I have a  pecan sized oject t in the frontal lobe of my brain.  A tumor?  An aneurysm?  N way of knowing yet.

on Thusday,wecconsn\lt with a brain surgeon for more tests.  

i will keep my readers informed.  Looks to be an interesing story.

Return of theLord of th MQNOR

I am zfill in lu mode,elapsin fom th flu hourly ut Gary returned from IllinoiX.  ITHINK  HINGS WILL IMPROVE NOE.

I am si

Getting there.

In spite of relapsing flu sympoms, I managed to post my latest short story.  My old grad school eache old us o write what we know.  She would lik this story ecause I combined feeling sick with my memories of teaching, subsitute teaching, teaching in China.

http://blackcoffeefiction.blogspot.com/2014/01/seasonal-employment-part-one.html

In addition, I put most of our Christmas decorations away and did some cleaning and worked on anoher project.

I wasn't my most productive but I was proud o myself to accomplish anyhing.

Writing and Bad Times

A few days ago Wade and I were talking about jury duty. There are three days I could be on a jury this month.  I'll never know until the night before.  I am curious about it.  I don't see any "Twelve Angry Men" dramas but still would like the experience.

Wade said from all he's heard, it would be very boring.  That doesn't mean I won't get anything out of it, I told him. I told Wade that even boring events still have something to offer writers.

Years ago, I worked as n extra in a movie being filmed in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.  Mostly, I found, being an extra is  a matter of waiting until you are needed.  I met lot of people, heard their stories.  I met some movie stars and mostly found them uninteresting.  I had more fun talking to the technicians finding out about their work.  I had the forethought to bring along some board games and go to talk to many of the extras that way.

Even in this current state of influenza offers me something.  I am writing a short story that I should be able to publish by tomorrow.  It centers around influenza.  Believe it or not, it will be humorous.

But even if I were writing a dramatic story, I would find a use for this experience.  Flu epidemics are important issues.  Anyone who watches Downton Abbey will remember the horror of the Crawley family facing one.  When I taught a class for senior citizens in Shawano I heard how the Spanish flu affected their lives, killing parents and siblings.

So I keep taking note of my symptoms.  I will make use of them.  But not right away.  My head is filled with wool at present.

Meanwhile, we progress to spring, only 68 days until spring.  Today we made another big step. We got our application to be sturgeon guards starting in April.   No matter what the weather, the big sturgeon females are swimming under the ice waiting to progress up the Wolf Rive to their spawning spots.

Hanging in There

Gary left for Dixon this morning and some of my friends wondered how he could leave me feeling so ill but I couldn't see much point in him staying.  My medical advisers say I have a viral infection but the only thing to do is wait it out.  This morning I had swollen glands.  The nurse practitioner who has been getting these cases since the end of 2013 said the swollen glands come toward the end of the viral process.  They are swollen because they are fighting the virus.  She now thinks I have two weeks yet to go before I shake this thing.

All I need to do is drink a lot of water, eat nutritious food, sleep as much as I can and take something like Tylenol for the pain.  In fact, aspirin does a better job for me.  Either way, I can take care of this as well as Gary.

As it turned out, he got to the farmhouse at a good time.  The water pipes were frozen.  It will take a while for that mess to be cleared up.

Meanwhile, I need sunshine.  I take lots of Vitamin D3 but good old Sol is better.  This morning the sun beams were shining through the living room window.  I brought down my camping mat, laid it on the floor and sunbathed in shorts.

Later, I got in the Subaru and went off to the Freedom area to take another look at the snowy owl.  The sun glared on the crust of the snow that lays over the field.  I certainly was getting enough Vitamin D.

In the end, I saw the owl and a few other bird species, bringing my yearly total so fr to 15.  Even in the dead of winter, I know that there is life all around.  It is at this time of year that the great horned owls are beginning to nest in the spruce trees out at the city cemetery.  In less than a month, Gary and I can go out and watch the owlets poking their heads out of their nest.

As of today it's only 69 days until spring.  The sun will come out tomorrow morning at 7:27.   It will be enough for me to get some sun before I have to finish my next short story.

Sunny day

Though I am still suffering the malady with occasional relapses into a foggy brain and body aches, it only takes a sunny day to drive the worst away.

Today Gary popped m into the Subaru with the passenger seat warmer set on high and off we went for a drive on sunny ocuntry roads.  We wound up at the Lutheran cemetery off French Road.  Enough of the snow has evaporated out there that I could work my way to my parents' grave where I retrieved the Christmas wreath and the LED candle we placed there on Christmas Eve.  To my surprise it was still lit..

From there we went to the Chinese restaurant for some dishes loaded with vegetables.

We came home after a pleasant morning to yet another relapse.  I slept the afternoon away.

And so it will go until this terrible winter comes to an end.

I Skyped with Wade today.  We have projects to pursue so I want this ague to disappear.

Still 70 years to go.

Birds on the Road and Birds at Home

I still have a flu that relapses every other day and the Arctic blast continues so Gary and I mostly stay here at Mathom House.  However over the weekend, we were getting cabin fever so went out for a drive to New London.  The Subaru runs well in cold and has the advantage of heated seats that were haven on my sore muscles.

It was our first birding trip of 2014.  By the end of the afternoon we found flocks of turkeys, Gary's favorite, and a couple of bald eagles, mine.  By taking back roads and watching bird feeders in residential areas, we added the following:  mourning doves, rock pigeons, dark eyed juncoes, American crows, red-tailed hawks snow buntings, and sparrows.

Then, back here in my own back yard, I saw hairy and downy woodpeckers and black capped chickadees.  At the end of the day I had twelve species in my Great Wisconsin Birding and Nature Trail checklist booklet for 2014.  That is a good start to the birding season.  In 2011, I had counted only six species by January 6 and the same at this point last year.

I figure on many more on my 2014 list because I will be going to Hawaii and seeing things I never saw before.  My total count for 2013 for the year was 85.  Certainly I can do better than that in 2014.

One of the great projects in Wisconsin over the past few years was the Great Wisconsin Birding and Nature Trail.  Today's news broadcast tells us that a Minnesota fracking firm discharged waste into some of the Trails most sensitive areas.  The firm received an $80,000 fine which is probably what they earn from their terrible practices in a week.  I hope it sends a message to our state legislature to stop issuing permits to these companies.

----

The Arctic winds and cold that have been pummeling the Midwest will alleviate by Thursday and we can head on to spring, now only 71 days away.  Today we decided to end the process by putting away Christmas. Four of the Christmas trees are gone.  The last cookie has been eaten.  Now we look forward to the RV and camping show in Green Bay weekend after next, Canoecopiea in Madison in March, the sturgeon guard and crane counts in April, to say nothing of my trip to Hawaii next month.  Hawaii was the only state in the union that did not report freezing temperatures this week. That sounds good to me.  

Still Out for the Count

Yesterday was a non-day for me.  I am still ill and probably will be for the foreseeable future.

Today, I tried to call a doctor.  I was told to call back later.  I did and was told the nurse practitioner would call me back later in the day.  She did not.  I called again around 4:00 pm and finally reached her.  I described my symptoms and she said it sounded like a viral infection that is going around.

I could come in tomorrow, but I asked her what is being prescribed.  Bed rest and Tylenol, she said.  That is what I have been doing for a week, so I have decided there is no point in seeing the doctor.  So I stay at home and doctor myself. My own feeling is that I won't be better until spring no matter what I do.

Just after I talked to the nurse practitioner, I had a call from the the courthouse in Appleton from the Clerk of the Circuit Court to see if I could come in for jury duty on Wednesday.  I explained my condition and was excused.  I was also excused for the 13th of the month which is when I was originally scheduled.  Apparently the same infection is decimating the jury pool.

Gary and I were going to Illinois tomorrow.  I don't see much difference between sitting in this house or sitting in the farmhouse in Illinois so we shall see.

What I have been thinking about is the time I was sick in China.  The hotel manager managed to get a doctor to my hotel room in ten minutes carrying medication.  No charge.

I wonder if people in this country will ever fully realize that we don't have good health care here.

So it's back to bed and Tylenol.   I keep thinking that I have a passport.  Maybe the cure is to go up to Canada for proper treatment.

Drugged

After three days surviving on Nyquil and naps, I begin to get a feeling about what it would be life to live in a nursing home.  I wouldn't like it.

It isn't the drugged state I mind, it is the inability to do anything with my brain.  I am stuck on all writing projects.  Today I meant to work on mty 2013 taxes.  Since I didn't do anything that would require me to wait for W-2 forms this year, yet I know I can expect a sizable refund.  If I get it done early in January, I'll have that refund to take with me when I go to Hawaii.

I know that come spring all of this will be gone.  All that is required is sunshine and enough of a higher temperature to go out on walks.  Meanwhile, I live on Nyquil and stay home.  Our January trip to Illinois has been canceled. Will I have recovered enough for jury duty on the 13th?

So I hang on.  Only 74 more days until the equinox.  Until then, it's California Dreamin' by the Mamas and the Papas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-aK6JnyFmk

Surely 2014 has to improve

Winter Gardening

It's a brutal winter here in Wisconsin with extreme cold.  Add to that a terrible strain of flu.  I am better and I did manage to get out briefly today, but spring is so far away.

To make Wisconsin winters bearable, I garden in the warmth of Mathom House.

I started forcing bulbs on New Year's Day.  I have pots of tulips and daffodils that should show sprouts by mid-February and bloom at the end of that month.

Gary bought a hibiscus shrub in September.  I have it in a big pot and am babying it along until spring when we'll plant it in the front yard.

The Christmas cactus is still blooming and probably will for a month or two yet.  The ckalanchoes plant Gary gave me a couple of years ago is blooming.  I've started two more plants from the original and they've all taken off.

So  I tend my garden and wait for the real spring, only 75 days away.

My readers are joining in the countdown by suggesting summer songs.  Today Gary asked for one of his favorites, "Summer Wine" by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQiDs9tKZv4


Spend part of this winter evening reading Wade Peterson's lastest short story "Secret Identity". at Black Coffee Fiction.  http://blackcoffeefiction.blogspot.com/2014/01/secret-identity.html  This story took me back to my college days.  I had a little dress I wore to various receptions around the campus.  Free food!

So we survive somehow or another.  I am still not well and from time to time, my posts here and in other places come out garbled.  Gary thinks I am trying to write Elvish.

Stick with me.  Sooner or later, I'll recover.

Influenza update

Another day and I am feeling much better.  Overnight, whenever I was awake, I thought about what I needed to do.

Yes, I needed rest and the story of the past three days has been napping.

I also thought that during the holiday season, I had not been eating properly.  I usually keep close watch on my food intake, making sure I am getting proper nutrients.  I was eating cookies, candy and fattening main courses. That had to change.  Today, I had my homemade vegetable soup for lunch. It has a tomato base, which is Vitamin C.  There are carrots (beta carotene) broccoli (a cruciform for Vitamin B6) beans and peas (more Vitamin B).  Tonight, I decided I needed more protein and had a pork sandwich.  

I decided min-afternoon that I needed a lot more Vitamin C so I made a big orange/banana smoothie.

It all must be working because tonight I am fine save for a dull headache, a big improvement over yesterday when I thought bombs were exploding in my brain.

Now I wait to see if Gary gets through without the same flu.  If he does come down with it, I owe him all the tender care I can manage.

Inluenza 2

The last time i was this sick was in th mid-960's when the Hong Kong flue came racing through the Midwest. I found myself crawling on the floor because I was too dizzy to stand up. No internet or cell phones back then so I resorted to a land phone to call one of my boyfriends to come over and help. He never arrived, nor did any of my other friends.

This current flu is much the same but this time I have Gary who made soup, lots of ice water and warm pads for my aching body.  Times certainly have changed though the flu is much the same. 

All I can think of is warm ummer days resting in the sun.  Only 77 days until spring.  Only 43 days until I get on a plane for Hawaii.  I hope the flu is gone by then.