Today was the day I've been waiting for, the day when decisions finally would be made after weeks of testing. Chris metGary and me t Neuro Spina to dicuss what we knew with Dr. Washer.
The tumor was growing, not shrinking. We decided to follow his advice, surgery, which will happen next weekweek, perhaps as early as Wednesday. Dr. Washer showed us the results he has had. These days, a doctor doctor must have figures to show what we can expect.
The fact is, I will be living with that darn tumor from now on, but I can add months to my life. We looked at the stark figures and at the images of the tumor and its surroundings. I will have the operation, but it is obviousthat for the rest of my life I will have trouble on my left side and it won't be a long life. But then my family has never been long lived, not like Gary's who seem to go on and on and on.
I've always lived a if each day were my last and that has added to th quality of my life. So nothing new here.
I
So by next week Wednesday, I go in for the cut.
Chris and I had some time o chat. I told him that I was slowly clearing up things. Perry, our lawyer, had suggested I make out funeral instructions and write an obituary. I've done both before but they need updating. I told Chris I don't want a memorial service or funeral, but suggested we do a digital memorial/obituary. I hav 41 scrapbooks full of photos. We could put my life on a DVD with photos, dates, and perhaps some of my favorite music. Anyone that wanted one could either download it from his server or we we could send them out. Perhaps Tisha could help me with this, she is tech and camera savvy. We'll see how that goes. If nothing else, they can finally throw out those dusty old scrapbooks some day.
I came home and went down for a long, long nap. When I woke up there were two words rolling around in my head: "Joy" and "Possibilities". I decided to live each day left to me with joy which would happen anyhow because soon the spring migrations will begin, one of the happiest times of the year. Any time I am in nature, there is joy. My family and friends are there, too. Today, Pat Stone had soup delivered from Sissy's and bless and Sandy decided to add scones, cookies and other treats. Gary brought me a Blizzard from Dairy Queen I told him if this keeps up, we can call off any pall bearers if the time comes.
And Susan delivered two rocheted hats to cover my shaven head after the operation.
So now I go to take a nap with visions of posibilities swirling around in my head. There still will be a canoe trip down the Wolf River. Gary does all the paddling anyhow, so I will have nothing to do but sit there and watch the water go by. Come on spring! There are still trips to plan, short ones, but to some lovely places.
Possibility after possibility.
During the AIDS crisis gays said, "These are not days of dying, these are the last days of living. I thought that brilliant.
So I go on living with all I've got. I have a long way to go.
The tumor was growing, not shrinking. We decided to follow his advice, surgery, which will happen next weekweek, perhaps as early as Wednesday. Dr. Washer showed us the results he has had. These days, a doctor doctor must have figures to show what we can expect.
The fact is, I will be living with that darn tumor from now on, but I can add months to my life. We looked at the stark figures and at the images of the tumor and its surroundings. I will have the operation, but it is obviousthat for the rest of my life I will have trouble on my left side and it won't be a long life. But then my family has never been long lived, not like Gary's who seem to go on and on and on.
I've always lived a if each day were my last and that has added to th quality of my life. So nothing new here.
I
So by next week Wednesday, I go in for the cut.
Chris and I had some time o chat. I told him that I was slowly clearing up things. Perry, our lawyer, had suggested I make out funeral instructions and write an obituary. I've done both before but they need updating. I told Chris I don't want a memorial service or funeral, but suggested we do a digital memorial/obituary. I hav 41 scrapbooks full of photos. We could put my life on a DVD with photos, dates, and perhaps some of my favorite music. Anyone that wanted one could either download it from his server or we we could send them out. Perhaps Tisha could help me with this, she is tech and camera savvy. We'll see how that goes. If nothing else, they can finally throw out those dusty old scrapbooks some day.
I came home and went down for a long, long nap. When I woke up there were two words rolling around in my head: "Joy" and "Possibilities". I decided to live each day left to me with joy which would happen anyhow because soon the spring migrations will begin, one of the happiest times of the year. Any time I am in nature, there is joy. My family and friends are there, too. Today, Pat Stone had soup delivered from Sissy's and bless and Sandy decided to add scones, cookies and other treats. Gary brought me a Blizzard from Dairy Queen I told him if this keeps up, we can call off any pall bearers if the time comes.
And Susan delivered two rocheted hats to cover my shaven head after the operation.
So now I go to take a nap with visions of posibilities swirling around in my head. There still will be a canoe trip down the Wolf River. Gary does all the paddling anyhow, so I will have nothing to do but sit there and watch the water go by. Come on spring! There are still trips to plan, short ones, but to some lovely places.
Possibility after possibility.
During the AIDS crisis gays said, "These are not days of dying, these are the last days of living. I thought that brilliant.
So I go on living with all I've got. I have a long way to go.
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