The Funeral

As I suggested two days ago, a funeral is also a social event.

The moment we entered the funeral home, Gary's relatives came up to talk to him. In most cases, they hadn't seen him in years, but they could recognize a Harms, the distinctive nose, I think.  They went into family reminiscences and lost me on who was related to whom.  For instance, Douglas who is the son of Miriam who was the sister of the deceased.  Miriam also was Gary's father's first cousin which makes Gary and Douglas second cousins.

I probably should have taken notes.

Whenever I get into one of these situations, I go to in-laws  and partners who tend to be as confused as I am.  Gretchen, Doug's wife, and I hit it off.  Before the funeral, at the cemetery, and later at the lunch at the Lutheran church we kept making running observations on human nature, life, and living with the Harms clan.

During the day, we discovered that everyone from the deceased to the current generation are pack rats. The deceased had been hoarding things throughout her room in the nursing home. There is a lot of stuff being stored in many drawers, closets and attics by members of the clan. Gary comes by it naturally.

Later we stopped by to visit his aunt Shirley who had declined to go to the funeral.  At 91, she likes her own schedule.  But once we showed her the digital photos Gary took at the funeral, we were able to convince her to let the relatives come for a visit on the family farm. They soon arrived and swarmed the place, looking at the property and house.  Miriam, only ten months younger than Shirley, stayed in the van and Shirley joined her there.

Of course, whatever they were doing stopped when it was time for Shirley to feed her class. She likes to keep to her schedule.

Later, Gary and I visited Donna, another relative, though Gary doesn't know how they are related.  I met Donna at another funeral.  We've been writing ever since. She showed me all the cards I've sent her in the past two years.  Another family pack rat.

Funerals are a great place to meet people.